Can Blessing Be Found Here?

The past six months have been full of change. I knew change would happen when I began to discover the truth of biblical marriage and of God's word. It honestly scared me, that such a heavy issue was proving the direction that I had previously thought undeniably wrong. Could this really be happening? Could so many of the core issues that I had been taught about marriage actually be crumbling before my eyes. Had I made an idol in my tradition? On the other side was the feeling that I had somehow sinned, or betrayed something intrinsic to Gods word. This drove me to have faith, and I have found deep comfort in the Lord in the past months. I still struggle with "feelings" from day to day, but getting into his word and really seeing the principle applied, has slowly and surely set me free. I believe because I read, I see, I accept. The feelings will eventually follow. I wan't to have faith to believe his word. The next round of questions were very personal and mostly related to the social context which I was brought up in. What will people think? Will they be angry? Will they ever understand? Will my potential future decisions disturb or hurt their relationships in any way? Then there is my wife. Will she be loved less? Am I robbing her of some great joy that other brides will find? Will she be able to deal with her feelings/thoughts? Will she still follow me forward? Could she ever see this another way? Yes, its a struggle. I sometimes imagine Jacob down by the river, embraced and interlocked with Yahweh. I can almost feel his struggle, as he knew he had a wonderful and beautiful thing in tow behind him. Before him, across the river, was his past which he had run from. Could he find solace in rest in his past? Would those who were offended by him offer sanctuary? Behind him was a land of unceasing work, and toil. He had what mattered to him, his family, and his faith. Yes, I imagine that a clash of faith and struggle happened at the river. He needed God, he needed an identity, a future, a blessing. He was going to push for it, he had to push for it. I believe God honored faith there, that he delivered for Jacob there, and I am praying that somewhere in the middle of all of this, he will show up for me as well.