Am I the problem?

1.1 Perhaps this is supposed to be easier - maybe I'm the problem? 1.2 I feel thwarted by my awkward and backward experiences in life. 1.3 I feel shy about the nature of my desires, and how to share that. 1.4 My anxieties are hidden, they live inside and often deride my mind. 2.1 So much to give, but its stuck in my head, I sigh in voiceless breath. 2.2 So much to say, but i'm stuck in a way, errands, chores, oh! fleeting day. 2.3 I reach for resolution - a distant prize, but I feel unable to actually try. 2.4 And I just take it out on productive shit, push hard, don't quit, set apart, get fit. 3.1 Awkward and all, obtuse butterball, masculine brawn. 3.2 Looking the part - feeling absurd - as an introverted asocial atypical nerd. 3.3 So my master plan is to trust in Yahweh - and do my best as if life is his test . 3.4 And because I'm obtuse I'll have to deduce his will - the truth. 4.1 A man can hope, can't he? 4.2 I'm not sure convenience and ease ever found me. 4.3 guess for now I'll just wait and see - and revisit number three point three.